


kiss it better

by floralorange



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Begging, Dom/sub, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Lesbian Sex, MILFs, Masturbation, Mommy Kink, Mutual Masturbation, Nicknames, Nightmares, Phone Sex, Praise Kink, Sexual Tension, Shower Sex, Smut, angst if you squint, jackie has milf vibes, jackie is an insomniac, jackie is gigi's mom, jan is a little bit touch-starved and wants cuddles, jan is gigi's best friend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:00:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27538753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floralorange/pseuds/floralorange
Summary: “Remember how you used to kiss it better?” she asks, “kiss it better?”-or-Jackie is an insomniac and when Jan has a nightmare, Jackie is awake to comfort her.-or-finding love in unusual places, kissing it better, and pinkie promises
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport
Comments: 18
Kudos: 70





	1. when you are young, they assume you know nothing

**Author's Note:**

> this was written at midnight so my apologies for the inevitable grammar mishaps

Jan is at her best friend Gigi’s house. Despite the fact that they are eighteen now (or seventeen, in Gigi’s case), they still have sleepovers. The girls headed straight to Gigi’s house after school at 4:00, Jan’s pyjamas already tucked away in her backpack

“Mom! I’m home! Jan’s here!” Gigi calls as they step in the doorway of her house, kicking off her shoes. Jan slides her shoes off carefully, trying not to make as much of a ruckus as Gigi. When she looks up, she sees Gigi’s mom walk in to greet them. Gigi and Ms. Cox, look almost nothing alike. Gigi is pale, with straight blonde hair, sharp features and icy blue eyes while Ms. Cox, oh god, she’s all soft curves and warm eyes and pretty curls in her brown hair. Gigi is also quite tall, something that Ms. Cox was really, 𝘯𝘰𝘵. 

“Hi girls, how was school?”

“Good. What’s for dinner?” Gigi asks casually. But Jan can’t be casual, not when Ms. Cox looks like 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵. Her beige dress pants hug her curves perfectly and her décolletage is on display where the top couple of buttons on her blouse is undone. Her curly hair is pulled back into a bun with little ringlets framing her face. It’s going to drive Jan crazy. 

“I’m was going to make pizza if that’s alright with you girls?”

“Sounds good,” answers Gigi.

“How about you, Jannie?” Jan blushes at the nickname, Ms. Cox has called her that since she was small but in recent years it’s started to do things to her, despite her best efforts to ignore just how much.

“Sounds great!”

“Alright, it should be ready in about forty-five minutes so make sure to come back down by then so it doesn’t get cold.”

“M’kay,” Gigi calls as she leads her friend upstairs to her room. 

They sit down on Gigi’s pink and white bedsheets and for the next forty minutes, she gushes about the girl she’s been seeing, Crystal. Jan tries to be interested but her heart’s not in it. She loves her best friend dearly, and she’s truly very happy for her but, it always hurts a little bit to stay at her house with Ms. Cox around. She’s always kinda had a thing for her friends mom. In fact, the first time she ever touched herself, when she was fourteen, was a result of letting her mind wander about Ms. Cox for far too long. Now, four years later, she still gets off to the thought of her, as well as thinking about her on a daily basis for a longer amount of time than she’d like to admit. There isn’t a Mr. Cox and Jan can’t recall a time where Gigi’s mom was ever seeing someone. She 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 give off gay vibes but Jan can’t really be sure.

“Jan?” Asks Gigi, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

“Sorry, pardon?”

“I said, how’s everything going with that girl from Aiden’s party, what’s her name, Nicky?”

“Oh yeah, her. She’s nice but I don’t think she’s really my type.”

Gigi raises her eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What exactly 𝘪𝘴 your type then?”

𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘮. But Jan doesn’t say that, that’s crossing a line. She opts for shrugging instead. “I guess I’m still figuring that out.”

“That’s okay Jan.” Gigi puts a comforting hand one her friend’s shoulder, “You have all the time in the world to figure it out.”

Jan nods, the soft smile on her face false. Oh if only it was that simple for Jan! Her problem is so unlike the ones of many girls her age. She already knows what she wants, she just can’t have it. 

“Dinner should be ready by now, you hungry?”

“I’m starving, let’s go.”

-

When her and Gigi make their way to the dinner table, most of the food is already there. Ms. Cox hands Jan a can of grape soda, “The usual,” she says with a wink. 

Jan blushes. Ms. Cox has always made sure to have grape soda stocked up in her fridge or pantry, ever since that sleepover when Gigi and her were fifteen and Jan drank four cans in one day! She was bouncing off the walls almost all night. She smiles internally at the memory. 

She takes a slice of pizza on her plate and take a bite of the delicious food. 

“Thank you, Ms. Cox, and thank you for dinner too,” she says as the older woman places a bowl of salad down on the table. Jan catches a whiff of her honeysuckle perfume and tries not to make it too obvious how much it makes her swoon. 

“Please dear, call me Jackie. How many times do I have to tell you?”

Jan smiles, warmth bubbling in her chest and Ms. Cox - 𝘑𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘦 is just staring at her and she’s sure her cheeks are bright red and she doesn’t know what to do because Jackie’s eyes are so pretty and 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘨𝘰𝘥 Gigi is kind of oblivious sometimes.

“Mmm, Mom this pizza is delicious!” Gigi states, her mouth full of pizza. Jan watches Jackie shake her head slightly, as if to clear her mind and grins at her daughter. 

“Glad you like it.” She turns back to Jan, “And how about you sweetie, do you like it?”

“Mmmhmm,” she answers with a grin, trying very hard not to get caught up at the nickname, “It’s yummy.” She watches the older woman smile softly as she takes a seat across from Jan.

“Good.”

Throughout dinner, Jan steals as many glances towards Jackie as she possibly can. Jan feels the older woman’s eyes on her occasionally. She takes the attention like a drug, she likes when Jackie is only paying attention to her, even if only for a moment. She liked it when she was seven, when her team won the soccer game, or when she won that award for science fair but in recent years, Jan finds that she likes the attention for a different reason.

“So Jan, how did you like the school musical this year? I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to come.”

“I loved it! I hope I did it justice, Heathers is one of my favourite musicals!” She gushes. 

“Jan, you did so great, stop being so modest,” Gigi teases.

“I’m sure you did Jannie, you have the voice of an angel. But I don’t need to tell you that, you already know.” Jackie grins and places her hand over Jan’s. The younger girl shivers at the contact, hoping Jackie didn’t notice. 

“I-I don’t, I mean, thank you, it really means a lot, Jackie.”

“Good girl, you’re finally calling me Jackie!”

Jan bites her lip, hard, trying to not let the out whine in her throat that’s threatening to come out. Oh god, she’s sure her cheeks must be crimson by now. She thanks her lucky stars that Gigi is too wrapped up texting somebody, probably Crystal, to notice how flustered Jan is getting. But Jackie is just staring at her with almost bedroom eyes and it catches the younger girl so off guard because she’s only ever imagined those eyes looking at her like that. She squeezes her thighs together, trying to be subtle about it and takes a big gulp of soda.

“What movie do you wanna watch tonight?” Asks Gigi, saving Jan from having to come up with a response to Jackie. 

“I don’t know,” she shrugs, “we could take a look on amazon prime….”

“Sure!”

After dinner, Jan offers to help with the dishes. Jackie accepts her help and Gigi goes upstairs to set up the movie they’re going to wash.

“If you could just help me in bringing everything to the kitchen, I’ll put the dishes in the dishwasher and put away the leftovers and such.”

“Okay,” she answers with a sweet smile. She carries plates and cups into the kitchen, while Jackie starts loading the dishwasher. Jackie is humming softly to herself, Jan thinks it’s cute. 

Her mind in the clouds, Jan walks straight into the other woman with a ‘thud,’ knocking a glass out of her hand that shatters on the floor.

“Shit! I’m so sorry!” She feels her cheeks heat up and internally groans at her clumsiness.

“It’s okay sweetheart, are you okay? Did you get cut?”

𝘚𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵. “No I’m alright-“

“Go back in to the kitchen for a moment, so you don’t step on any glass.” 

Gigi heads back into the kitchen at the same time as Jan. “Are you good?” she asks, “You look like, flustered.”

“Oh yeah, I just broke a glass.”

“Of course you did, you’re so clumsy, Jan!” 

Gigi informs her that the movie’s all ready so the two of them head upstairs, but not before thanking Jackie for dinner again and apologizing (again!) for breaking the glass.

Jackie tells her it’s okay and to enjoy her movie. The two teens head upstairs and pull on pyjamas. Jan opted for wearing baby blue satin pyjama shorts and a purple oversized shirt. She wipes off her makeup from the day and Gigi does the same.

“What movie are we watching?” She asks as she joins Gigi on her bed.

“Something scary? Like a horror movie?”

“Georgina if you make me watch 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘪𝘳𝘥𝘴 again, I swear to god-“

“But it’s my favourite!”

“Fine!!”

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘪𝘳𝘥𝘴 has been Gigi’s favourite movie for years. Because of that, Jan’s watched it 𝘵𝘰𝘰 many times. They make themselves comfy, Gigi turning on her favourite movie for them to watch. 

-

By the time the movie ends, it’s dark out. It’s also too early to sleep so they decide to watch something else. 

“You can pick what we watch, I’m tired. Do you have popcorn or something?” Not that she would admit it to herself, or anyone for that matter but she knows Jackie is downstairs and she wants an opportunity to talk to her.

“Popcorn sounds great! There should be some microwavable popcorn in one of the cabinets..”

“I can go make it. You pick a movie, I’ll be right back,” she says, climbing out of the bed before Gigi can argue. Jan tip-toes down the stairs into the living room, where Jackie is, curled up on the couch with a bunch of blankets watching some reality show. 

“Uh, Ms. Cox?”

Startled, the older woman turns around to look at her. She looks sleepy and pretty and Jan wants to kiss her pouty pink lips so bad. “Jannie, hi sweetheart. Do you need something?”

“I was going to make some popcorn or something for me and Gigi but I don’t know where it is....”

“Here Jannie, I’ll help you.” She turns off the T.V, standing up and Jan is about to protest, about to say she doesn’t want to interrupt Jackies show but then she’s standing right in front of Jan in a satin nighty and Jan can’t breathe. Her curly hair is down and it’s wild and beautiful and Jan wishes she’d wear it down more often. She holds her hand out for the younger girl to take and leads her into the kitchen. “Sorry, I don’t have a sweater or something,” she says as she turns on a low light, Jan can still see the flush in her cheeks.

“Oh, don’t worry! I’m not doing much better, these shorts don’t really cover much.” The intention behind her words was mostly to make a lighthearted joke but Jan doesn’t miss the way the older woman’s eyes flick to her thighs for just a moment.

“I suppose, but you’re also a kid, it’s inappropriate for myself,” She says as she grabs a bag of microwavable popcorn from a cabinet and puts in in the microwave. 

“I’m not a kid,” she pouts, “I’m legal.” Jan bats her long eyelashes, staring into Jackie’s dark eyes in the low light.

“You are. I remember your eighteenth birthday because you stayed over and Gigi helped you impulsively dye your hair purple,” she chuckles, “your mom almost killed me.”

“Yeah, she was so mad,” Jan giggles but her breath hitches when Jackie reaches out to touch Jan’s hair. The purple has faded already, leaving her hair back to her natural blonde colour. 

“You’re hair looks so much prettier like this, blonde.” Her voice is smooth and deep, Jan feels like she might melt.

“You didn’t like the purple?” She asks in feigned offence.

“I did but, I like this better.” Before Jan can even think about responding, Jackie tugs softly on the piece of hair she was holding and Jan can’t help but whine softly.

“Ms. Cox..” she breathes.

“Jackie.”

“Jackie. I-I need-“ The microwave beeps loudly, Jackie jumps in surprise, looking very flustered. She curses softly, probably to herself and opens the microwave. She hands the now-popped popcorn to the younger girl warning her that it’s hot.

“Thank you. Jackie are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, sorry.”

“You’re real jumpy, are you sure?” she asks, reaching out to touch the older woman’s hand in comfort. 

“I’m okay sweetie, go enjoy your movie, I’m sure Gigi’s waiting for you,” she says with a soft smile.

“Okay,” she says quietly before reaching out to touch the older woman’s curly brown hair, “I like your hair like this, down, it’s so pretty.”

“Thank you, Jannie,” she whispers with a soft smile, “goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Jan tip-toes back upstairs, bag of popcorn in hand. She joins Gigi on her bed, who has picked another movie for them to watch. Some cheesy rom-com called 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥. Jan really isn’t bothered though, her mind is somewhere else. 

𝘑𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘦. Jackie and her pretty curly hair and chunky glasses that she wears in the evenings when she takes her contacts out. Jackie and her curves and that silky nighty she’s wearing that’s making Jan’s mouth water just thinking about it. 

“If he fucks her sister, I’m giving up on this movie,” states Gigi, snapping Jan out of her thoughts.

“I’m sorry, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?”

“Jan, are you even paying attention!?”

“Not really,” she admits, forcing a yawn, “I’m tired.”

Gigi lets out an exasperated sigh, giggling at her friend.

The movie 𝘪𝘴 cute, Jan will giver her that. Or, the parts she actually pays attention to. Her eyelids are getting heavier and heavier, there’s not much room in her sleepy head to process the movie. 

Before she even realizes, her eyes are shutting completely and she’s drifting off, Jackie in her satin nighty still on her mind. 

-

Jan’s eyes snap open but the room is pitch black. How long is it since she fell asleep? What time is it? She checks her phone, it’s almost two am. She glances over, seeing that Gigi is sound asleep next to her. It was just a dream. What the 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 was that? A horrible, awful nightmare that might haunt her for the next couple of months. She’s sweating and cold and 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 because of her dream.

Jan takes a needed deep breath. She needs some water. Quietly sliding out of bed, Jan makes her way downstairs to the kitchen on shaky legs. Very much to her surprise, Jackie is still awake.

She’s seated at the kitchen table, the white light from her open laptop washing out her face. There’s a low light in the background too so that laptop isn’t the only light source.

“Jackie?” She whispers, her voice hoarse.

“Jannie, why are you awake? Is everything okay?”

“I had a nightmare,” she manages to get out, a tear sliding slowly down her cheek. 

“Oh you poor thing.” Jackie stands to wrap her arms around the younger girl, hugging her tightly. She tries not to but Jan can’t help the tears that won’t quit spilling from her eyes.

“Shh sweetheart, It’s okay.” Jackie rubs soothing circles on her back until she’s calmed down.

“I’m sorry, I-I don’t know…”

“It’s okay, Jannie. Nightmares are scary. You poor baby, you’re trembling. Would you like some hot chocolate or something?”

Jan sniffles, “Maybe just water, thank you Jackie.”

“Of course sweetheart.” Jackie gets a cup of water and Jan feels herself being led to the couch by the older woman. Jackie wraps a blanket around the shaking girl and sits down next to her.

“Jackie, need you,” Jan almost whispers, cuddling up to the older woman,

“I’ve got you,” Jackie comforts, wrapping an arm around Jan.

It’s not that unusual, for Jan to seek comfort in Jackie. She 𝘩𝘢𝘴 been Gigi’s best friend since they were small and she’s slept over many, many times so it was inevitable that a couple of scraped knees, cuts and bruises, and nightmares before that had ended with Jan in tears meant that she needed the older woman to make it feel better. An idea pops into Jan’s head.

“Jackie?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember when I was little and I used to get scrapes and cuts ‘cause I was clumsy?”

“You are still clumsy,” the older woman chuckles, “but yes, I remember.”

“Remember how you used to kiss it better?” she asks. She can feel Jackie tense up beside her. Ignoring that, she continues, “kiss it better?”

“I, Jannie-“

“Jackie,” she breathes, looking up at the older woman, her eyes wide.

Jackie leans in and kisses her forehead softly. “Better?” she asks, a sweet smile on her face. Jan wants to respond but can’t, it tingles where the older woman kissed her. Her head feels fuzzy, she can’t think straight, she just wants more. She leans in towards Jackie who now looks like a deer caught in headlights. “Jannie-“ she starts but is interrupted when Jan presses her lips against the older woman’s lips firmly. “Jan, Jan wait.”

“I’m sorry, I-I should go-“ she mumbles, tears welling up in her doe eyes. She sits up, about to stand when Jackie pulls her back by the wrist.

“Jannie, baby, you can stay.”

The younger girl freezes and looks up at the older woman, unsure of what to do. If anything she expects a pity lecture, 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘑𝘢𝘯, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥. But when Jackie leans in to kiss her again, and presses her lips against Jan’s, she thinks it’s more than that. “Jackie?”

“Baby, is this what you want?”

“I want it so bad Jackie, want you,” she mumbles against the older woman’s lips sitting back down, “wanted you for so long.”

“How long?” she asks, smirking.

“Jackie,” she whines, “so long!”

“Yeah?” Jan can feel that Jackie is still smirking and it’s making her cheeks flush red.

“Yeah.” Now it’s Jan’s turn to smirk, “Every time I touch myself I think of you.” Her lips brush against Jackie’s jaw as she kisses a trail down to her neck.

“Fuck, Jannie. Every time, baby?” She whispers breathily as she tilts her head back to give the blonde girl access. 

“Every time,” she repeats, “even the first time.”She feels the older woman’s hands grip her hips tightly, pulling Jan onto her lap. Jan squeals as Jackie attacks her neck with kisses, surely leaving marks.

“What do you do sweetie? What do you think about, can you tell me? My good girl,” she whispers while peppering kisses across her neck. 

Jan tries to answer but all that comes out is a low moan. The older woman chuckles against her neck, causing Jan to whine softly.

“Shh baby, can you use your words? Is everything okay?”

“S’perfect Jackie,” she mumbles, “I-I think about you and-and, 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬,” she moans when Jackie runs a hand up her toned stomach under her shirt.

“You’re so good. What do you think about me doing to you baby?” the older woman asks.

“Touching me,” she manages out. 

“Can I take this off?” Jackie toys with the bottom of the younger girl’s shirt, looking up at her with big doe eyes and Jan feels like she’s going to melt. She nods rapidly and Jackie pulls off her oversized shirt. “Where do you think about me touching you?”

“Here.” She guides the older woman’s hand to her breast. 

“Fuck, Jannie,” she whispers lowly, her pupils blown wide. She pinches Jan’s nipple lightly and moves her mouth to the other one, swirling her tounge around the hardened bud.

“Jackie,” she breathes, “𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬.” The brunette hums against Jan’s breast and the younger girl bucks her hips unintentionally. Jackie chuckles and steadies her hips. 

“Stand up so I can see you angel.” The blonde girl blushes at the nickname and stands up. “Can I take these off?” She nods, her cheeks flushing when the older woman pulls down her shorts and panties in one swift motion. “Jan, you’re so beautiful,” Jackie murmurs, looking at her with intense bedroom eyes. 

She whines as she climbs on the brunette’s lap, “Jackie, I need-“

Jackie cuts her off with a kiss. “I know angel, I’ve got you,” she whispers against her lips, snaking her hand down between Jan’s thighs. The younger girl bites back a moan, whimpering in Jackie’s ear as she runs her fingers over Jan’s soaking pussy. 

“Jackie, fingers, please.” Jackie smirks but obliges, sliding a finger into the younger girl slowly. Jan moans and bucks her hips, trying to take her finger’s deeper. 

“Shh Jannie, I need you to be quiet, can you be good for me?” the older woman asks, pumping her finger slowly before adding another one. She allows her head to fall against Jackie’s shoulder, peppering kisses against her neck.

“Yeah, I’ll be so good!” she whines softly, arching her back. Her stomach tightens, she’s close. She whines and whimpers as the older woman fucks her. When Jackie starts rubbing tight circles on her clit, Jan’s gone. Her hips jerk as she cums with a start, moaning brokenly against the brunette’s neck. 

Jackie whispers sweet nothings in her ear as she comes down form her high, “Pretty girl, you did so well angel, so good for me, so pretty. 𝘎𝘰𝘥 Jannie, baby, I don’t think you know what you do to me.”

“I wanna know. Can I make you feel good Jackie? I wanna make you feel good,” she breathes, leaning up to kiss the other woman’s mouth.

“Are you sure sweetie? You don’t have to.”

“I want to, I wanna taste you.” She hesitates for a moment before asking, “Is that okay?” nervousness present in her voice.

“Yes, 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬, it’s more than okay,” the older woman whispers between kisses. 

Jan grins against the other woman’s lips and allows Jackie to explore her mouth with her tongue. 

When Jan breaks away from the kiss, it’s to climb down on her knees between Jackie’s legs. She pushes Jackie’s satin nighty up past her hips and gasps at the sight of her naked below the waist. Her curves are prettier than Jan could’ve imagined, and her 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘴, Jan feels herself getting wet again already. “Jackie, I-I-“

Jackie bites her lip, cupping the younger girl’s cheek softly. “Yeah?”

“You are so gorgeous.” She runs her fingers over the older woman’s dripping pussy and watches for her reaction. She watches Jackie stifle a moan. Jan kisses up the older woman’s slick thighs and moans at the taste when she licks a stripe up her cunt. Jackie squirms as the younger girl starts kitten licking at her pussy.

“𝘍𝘶𝘤𝘬,” Jackie moans softly and it’s music to Jan’s ears. The older woman tangles her fingers through Jan’s blonde hair, tugging slightly. Jan swirls her tongue around Jackie’s clit while allowing the brunette to roll her hips against her mouth. Jan being able to act out her deepest desires, having her face between Jackie’s thick thighs is making her dizzy.

Within minutes, Jackie is close, Jan can tell. “Fuck, fuck, right there baby, 𝘺𝘦𝘴, my good girl,” she moans breathily as her orgasam causes her thighs to shake violently as the younger girl licks her through it. Jan stops when the older woman shifts her hips away from her mouth. The blonde girl looks up at Jackie who’s smiling at her softly with heavy eyelids.

“Did I do good Jackie?” she asks after catching her breath.

“Come here baby,” she mumbles as she pulls the younger girl back up onto her lap, straddling on of the older woman’s thighs, “you did so perfect, such a good girl, made me feel so good.” Jan whines at the praise, suddenly acutely aware of just how aroused she is, despite coming only minutes before. She grinds her hips down on the older woman’s thigh experimentally and can’t help the surprised moan that escapes her mouth. “Does that feel good, angel?” Jackie asks breathily, running a thumb over the younger girls flushed cheek.

Jan nods rapidly. “More,” she whimpers. The brunette guides Jan’s hips to roll against her thigh, now slippery due to being coated by the younger girl’s arousal. Jan’s breath hitches as she continues to rut against Jackie’s thigh.

“That’s it, show me how you make yourself feel good, such a perfect baby,” Jackie whispers between kisses, “you’re so pretty, Jannie.” Jan arches her back, whining at the attention. 

“Jackie, feels good.”

“Shh baby, are you gonna cum already for me?” the older woman asks while peppering kisses against Jan’s jaw and scarlet cheeks.

“Ngghh, yeah,” she whines, nodding rapidly. If she wasn’t so worked up, she’d be embarrassed at how close she is already.

“Yeah? Can you beg for me like a good girl?”

Jan does without hesitation, “Jackie can I cum? Please I need it so bad! It feels so good, please?”

“Come for me pretty baby,” she whispers before kissing the younger girl fiercely to keep her quiet. Jan cums hard, moaning into Jackie’s mouth. She see’s stars behind her eyelids as she cums harder than she ever has before. 

It takes her minutes to come down from her high, Jackie kissing her cheeks as she does. “You’re so beautiful Jannie, shh angel I’ve got you,” she whispers while rubbing her back soothingly. Once she’s back to reality, Jan giggles, kissing the older woman’s lips over and over until she’s giggling too.

“ I like you, Jackie,” she whispers, a cautious tone in her voice. 

“I know sweetheart, I’ve known for years,” she says, still chuckling.

“You have!?” the younger girl asks, her eyes wide.

“Yes, baby. Do you want to talk about all this tomorrow? I can tell you’re sleepy.” Jackie’s motherly tone and thumb rubbing back and forth against Jan’s bottom lip is making her weak. She nods, yawning as she cuddles her face against the older woman’s neck. “Okay, angel I need to get my laptop, I still have work to do.”

Jackie sits up immediately, “but-“

“Shh Jannie, I have to do something for work, you can stay though, I promise.” 

“Pinkie promise?” Jan asks, holding out her littlest finger. Jackie locks her pinkie with the younger girl’s and then Jan climbs off her, allowing Jackie to grab her laptop from where it was left in the kitchen. When she returns, Jan has her pyjamas back on and is sitting on the couch. “What are we gonna tell Gigi tomorrow?” she whispers.

“That you had a nightmare, came downstairs for some water, and fell asleep on the couch, does that sound okay?” Jackie asks as she sits down beside Jan on the couch. The younger girl nods, a slightly hurt expression on her face that Jackie promptly picks up on. “Baby, we’ll figure everything out, I promise. I like you too. We’ll be okay, but we need to sit down and talk about it when you’re actually awake, angel.”

Jan whispers a soft ‘okay,’ before kissing Jackie’s plump lips softly. She lies down, using the older woman’s lap as a pillow while she works on her laptop. Jackie’s hands make way into Jan’s hair, toying with it softly. Jan allows her eyes to close, she could get used to this, falling asleep on Jackie’s lap after a mind-blowing orgasam. This isn’t the last time this is going to happen-she’s sure of it. 

Right before Jan drifts off, she feels a kiss being pressed against her forehead. “Sleep well, angel.”


	2. but i knew you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jan thinks Jackie dresses like a dork but doesn't tell her. Phone sex happens too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this was originally going to be a oneshot but you guys left some lovely comments so i was motivated to continue. also, this is kinda a filler chapter but i swear the next one will have more plot. 
> 
> also if you wanna make requests or just be my friend lol dm on tumblr it's @ floral0range (don't be shy lol i'm nice i swear)

When Jan wakes up, the first thing she notices is that it smells delicious, like eggs and bacon. The second thing she notices is that Jackie isn’t on the couch with her anymore. She sits up, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Her hair is practically a birds nest and she needs a shower. 

“Jan! You’re finally awake!” Gigi’s standing at the doorway of the kitchen, still in her pyjamas, her blonde hair looking slightly better than Jan’s, but definitely could use a hairbrush. She groggily makes her way into the kitchen but her eyes snap open when she sees Jackie. She’s no longer in that satin nighty, now dressed in mom jeans and blouse with a cardigan on top. She’s wearing her large chunky glasses, as usual. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘬! Jan smiles to herself slightly, she likes it. 

“Good morning, Ms. Cox-“

“Darling, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 call me Jackie!”

“Good morning, 𝘑𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘦. Your hair looks nice.” Her wild curls are down for once, she looks gorgeous. 

“So does yours,” she jokes, ruffling the blonde’s messy hair. Jan sits down at the kitchen table with Gigi, who was sipping some orange juice.

“Sorry I left Geege, I had a nightmare so I got up for some water and-“

“I know, Jan,” Gigi cuts her off, “Mom told me, it’s okay. I was asleep anyway” The other blonde puts a hand over Jan’s reassuringly and both girls laugh. The three of them make light conversation while breakfast is being made. 

“Sweetie, do you want anything to drink?” Jackie asks while flipping the eggs.

“I’d love some coffee actually, but I can get it myself.” She gets up to get herself some coffee. While she does, she can’t help but be a little excited at the idea of spending more mornings like this, with Jackie cooking breakfast. With 𝘑𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘦. 

-

When Jan gets home after being at Gigi’s house, the first thing she does is she flops down on her purple bedsheets that she picked out when she was sixteen, taking a deep breath. The next thing she does is changes Jackie’s contact name from ’Ms. Cox’ to ‘Jackie :)’ She should text her, right? Probably but, what should she say? How do you start a conversation with the woman who gave you the best orgasam of your life, who also happens to be your best friends mom? She sends the older woman a text and awaits a response, which comes soon enough. She’s had Jackie’s number since she got her first phone when she was fourteen, in case of emergencies, so luckily she didn’t have to ask for it before she left. 

Jan: thank you for taking care of me after my nightmare :)

Jackie:) : Of course, sweetheart. Are you feeling better today?

Jan assures her that she’s better now, that Jackie successfully kissed it better. Jackie calls her a naughty girl, which causes her to press her thighs together in attempts to relieve some of the ache. After that, they make pleasant conversation and plan for Jan to come over next weekend (in secret) while Gigi is spending the night at her friend Jaida’s. 

Jan knows that in a couple of weeks when schools out, Gigi will be gone for part of the summer- working as a camp counsellor; So Jan will (fingers crossed!) be able to spend most of that time with Jackie. 

-

Later in the week, on thursday night, Jan is getting restless. She wants to see Jackie again, needs to be with her again. Touching herself to the memory of the other night was able to get her off faster than anything she’s ever fantasied about before, but she craves Jackie’s real touch. Her lips against hers, her hands on Jan’s body, to see the older woman completely naked-which she didn’t get to do before but she desperately wants to. 

What time is it? Almost one am. Jan’s parent’s are early birds so they’re almost definitely asleep by now. Getting up to check, Jan tip-toes through her house, finding the lights off everywhere downstairs, no other soul in the house, other than Jan and the family cat, Fox.

When she’s back in her room, she locks the door and slides off her fuzzy pyjamas, rifling through her dresser drawers to find…there it is! Her sheer purple lingerie set with little mint green and pink flowers sewn onto it. It resides in the back of her dresser, hidden because if one of her parents ever saw it, she’d be grounded for a year. 

She poses in front of the mirror once she gets herself all dressed up in the lingerie. Happy with her refection, she imagines what Jackie might think. Would she think Jan looks beautiful? Would it turn her on, would Jackie call her pretty nicknames again? She hopes so, the very thought makes her wet.

Snapping a couple of pictures in the mirror, she picks the one where her hand is in her panties, and she’s biting her bottom lip softly. She hits send before she can think twice about it. Restlessly awaiting the older woman’s response, she falls back onto her purple comforter and tries not to touch herself, hoping Jackie will be proud of her for that.

Not even four minutes later, Jan gets a text back from Jackie, ‘You insatiable child!’ it read. Immediately after, she receives a second text from the older woman, ‘Do you need something Jannie?’

’need you,’ she types back. Her screen lights up, Jackie’s calling her. She plugs her earbuds into her phone and accepts the call. 

“Jannie,” the older woman breathes.

“Yeah?” she asks, her voice whiney.

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting, sweetheart. Did you cum yet, or were you good for me?”

“I didn’t touch myself, I was so good.”

“Good girl.” Jackie’s voice is lower than usual and it goes straight to Jan’s core. She whines and shifts her hips in attempts to get some friction. 

“I-I need…”

“I know angel. Are you still wearing those cute little panties?” Jan breathes out a ‘yea’ in response to Jackie’s question. “Can you take them off, baby, and the bra too?” Jan’s breath catches at the nickname and she peels off her bra and panties, wishing Jackie was there to see (and touch.)

“All done!” She exclaims rather childishly. 

Jackie chuckles, it’s low and sultry and Jan is so worked up she feels like she’s going to explode. “Touch yourself for me, can you do that Jannie?” The younger girl breathes out a ‘yea’ in response. She moves her between her thighs and her breath hitches, shocked at how wet she is. “Does that feel good, baby girl?” Jan whines. She can hear the smirk in the older woman’s voice and she realizes that she might’ve whined louder than she meant to.

“Yeah, Jackie my pussy is so wet, just for you!” The younger girl whimpers, more liquid gushing out between her legs as she slides a second finger inside herself, pumping them quickly.

“I know Jannie, I can hear it.”

“Jackie, need you,” she breathes.

“Shh darling, I’ve got you. Wish you were here, baby, I’d make you feel so good,” the older woman says, her voice is breathy and low and it’s now that Jan realizes that Jackie is touching herself too. She bucks her hips, rolling them against her fingers. 

“Jackie, are-are you…?”

“Touching myself? Yes, baby.” Jan can’t help but whine. Jackie is getting herself off to Jan touching herself, it’s making her head spin. “Fuck, Jannie,” the older woman moans softly. She imagines Jackie lying down naked on her bed, head thrown back in pleasure, working herself with her long fingers. That image in mind, she moved her other hand to rub fast circles on her clit and it’s enough to tip her over the edge. 

“Jackie-“ she gasps but can’t finish the sentence because her orgasam catches her off guard, hitting her intensely. Her thighs shake and she whines and moans as she cums. 

When she’s back to reality, all she can hear is Jackie moaning softly, her breathing coming out in small gasps and Jan can tell she’s close. “Jackie that felt so good, you make me feel so good, want you-“

She’s cut off by the older woman breathily moaning her name. Jan can tell she’s coming. “Jannie,” she breathes out. 

“I wish I was there.” Jan slides under her covers after shutting her light off. She snuggles up to a purple stuffed bunny she’s had since she was three, wishing it was Jackie

“Fuck baby,” the older woman says after catching her breath, “me too.”

“I want it to be Saturday already, I wanna cuddle.”

“I’ll give you all the cuddles you want, plus more,” Jackie promises. 

“Pinky promise?” Jan asks, rubbing her eyes. 

“Pinky promise.” A soft smile appears on her lips at Jackie’s response. She pets her stuffed bunny’s head, something she’s done to help her relax since she was nine. “Are you sleepy, angel?” the older woman asks when she yawns. Jan responds with a whispered ‘yes’ and allows her heavy eyes to close. “You should go to sleep, we can’t have my baby girl too tired, now can we?”

Jan giggles softly, snuggling even more into her blankets. “Stay?”

“Of course, angel. Are you all cuddled up in bed?”

“Yea,” she whispers, “are you?”

“Pretty much, I’m going to read a little before going to sleep.”

Jan yawns again. “You need to sleep more Jackie.”

“Maybe so but, right now you’re the tired one, go to sleep, little one.”

Jan bites her bottom lip at the nickname, she likes it. She allows herself to relax, listening to Jackie humming softly while she reads. She feels content, happy (of course, she’d be happier if she could fall asleep with her head on Jackie’s lap again.) She hopes Jackie feels happy too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm thinking of adding some more *kinky* stuff to the next chapter so if you have a request or idea for that please leave a comment :)


	3. coffee at midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re emotions don’t scare me, Jackie. I’m not going anywhere….unless you want me to."
> 
> Jan tries calling Jackie 'Mommy' and likes it, coffee at midnight, more pinky promises, more kissing it better and Jackie is trying her best to let go of her fears and her ghosts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W A R N I N G: mommy kink is definitely featured in this chapter so if that's not your thing, maybe don't continue with this chapter!
> 
> some light angst sry! its not actually that bad though 
> 
> also, tysm to everyone who's been reading and commenting! Im SO SORRY this chapter took so long to update! <33

When it’s 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 Saturday, Jan is giddy with excitement. She spends most of the late afternoon blasting Ariana Grande through her headphones as she packs to go to Jackie’s. She dances around her room to ‘positions’ while packing her pyjamas (though, she probably won’t need them) and her purple stuffed bunny, as well as some other necessities into a small, fuzzy, pink duffle bag. 

After dinner, she receives a text from Jackie, telling her that Gigi just left and that she can come over any time. She slides off her clothes and slips on some cute little mint green lace panties and a matching bra to wear for the older woman to see. She pulls on a purple turtleneck, white skirt (wanting to look pretty for Jackie) and a denim jacket before throwing her duffle over her shoulder and heading out. 

“I’m going out, I’ll be back tomorrow, can you let Mom know when she gets off work?” She asks her dad, who’s in the living room, reading, as she pulls on her favourite chunky white sneakers. She sometimes wishes her mom didn’t work so much so they could actually talk more but, it’s kinda always been like that. 

“Sure pumpkin, I’ll let her know. Have fun,” he responds.

“Thanks, Dad.” 

Jackie’s house isn’t too far and it isn’t quiet dark yet so Jan walks. She slips her earbuds in again and her feet carry her the couple blocks away to Jackie’s house, the route she’s walked many times before, though on different circumstances. As she watches the purple-pink sky settle over the New York suburban houses, she allows her mind to wander. 

Her Dad probably assumes she’s going to get high again with Rock or someone and didn’t want her mom to know. That’s okay, preferable actually. Honestly, she’d rather her parents assume she was getting high than sleeping with her best friend’s mom. Thankfully, her parents were both very supportive when she came out at sixteen, though in this specific situation, they probably wouldn’t be quite as much. 

Before she even realizes, she’s already at Jackie’s house. She makes her way up the steps, giddy with excitement, and knocks on the door. When the door opens, Jackie’s standing there in a tight pencil skirt that makes Jan’s mouth water and it looks like her hair was previously in a bun but was recently pulled out of it. Jan forgets how to breathe.

“Jackie,” she breathes, “hi.”

Jackie pulls her inside and closes the door. The older woman smiles softly, and Jan swears her honey brown eyes light up a little when she smiles back. 

“I missed you sweetheart.” Jackie whispers like it’s a secret, the two of them in their own little bubble, separate from everyone else. She allows herself to get lost in the older woman’s gaze, her pretty face and wild curls taking up about ninety-two percent of Jan’s vision. Jackie cups her face gently and Jan feels her cheeks heat up. “Can I kiss you?” After Jan nods, Jackie kisses her deeply. She whimpers softly and wraps her arms around Jackie’s neck after dropping her duffel bag and jacket onto the floor. Jackie leads her to the couch and Jan sits down right beside her.

“Jannie? Can we talk about something?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Jackie places a comforting hand on Jan’s thigh. “Would you like to try something sweetheart?”

“Something kinky?” the younger girl teases. Based on Jackie’s reaction, Jan thinks she hit the nail right on the head. “I wanna know Jackie, what do you like?” she asks.

“I just don’t want it to be too much for you.” Jan’s never seen the older woman nervous like this before. She’s eager to hear what Jackie has to say, excited to try something new. 

“It won’t be. If it is I’ll tell you. Whatever it is, it won’t scare me off.”

“I like to be called Mommy, in the bedroom.” 

“Okay.” Jan’s heard about that before, she knows what it is, kind of. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t think it was insanely hot.

“Okay?”

“I want to try. I don’t really know what to do, though. Will you teach me?” 

Jackie kisses the younger girl fiercely. “Yes, babygirl, I’ll teach you,” she whispers between kisses. Jan starts giggling out of a combination of embarrassment, adrenaline, and arousal. The older woman pulls Jan on to her lap, mirroring last time when they found themselves in a similar position. “I’ll take care of you princess, you need to tell me what feels good though and what doesn’t, okay?” She cups the blonde’s face softly and is looking at Jan with the warmest eyes she’s ever seen. Jan feels utterly safe. And insanely turned on because Jackie just called her ‘princess.’

“I’ll tell you Jackie, I promise. It feels good when you call me ‘princess’ please call me princess again.” Embarrassed, she hides her face in Jackie’s neck, gripping her blouse collar softly as she nuzzles into her neck.

“Yeah?” the older woman asks, “what’s my name, princess?”

“Mommy,” she whines, her face still hidden in Jackie’s neck. 

“Good girl. Can you look at me, Jannie?” Jan looks up at the older woman, her cheeks scarlet. Jackie leans in to kiss her and when their lips meet again, Jan feels a rush of liquid between her thighs and, judging by Jackie’s smirk, she can feel it too.

“I need you,” she breathes. 

“Let’s go upstairs, sweetheart?” 

Jan agrees and can’t help but giggle when the brunette picks her up to carry her up the stairs. She’s surprisingly strong and seeing her biceps flexing a little under her blouse is 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 hot. 

Seeing Jackie’s bedroom in this context is odd, but not in a bad way. Jackie lays her down on her bed and goes to close the cream-coloured curtains. She turns on a lamp so it’s not too dark and climbs on top of Jan, attacking her neck with a flurry of kisses. Jan moans and wiggles her hips against the sheets, trying to get any type of friction against her aching core. Jackie’s tight skirt rides up a lot and Jan wants it 𝘰𝘧𝘧 so she tugs at it lightly. 

“Mommy, I wanna see you,” she pouts. Jackie gets up and pulls off 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. Jan sits on the edge of the bed in awe, her legs dangling off the edge. She’s never seen anybody so gorgeous. She’s staring at the older woman’s beautiful curves and her toned stomach and arms and her lips, swollen from kissing and the way her curls fall against her shoulders and Jan realizes she’s just staring and 𝘰𝘩 𝘨𝘰𝘥, the way Jackie is looking at her is making her melt. She brings Jan’s hands up to her full breasts, allowing the younger girl to touch. She watches Jackie’s eyes fall shut and she exhales in pleasure when she pinches the older woman’s nipple lightly.

“Can I take this off? Mommy wants to see her beautiful baby girl,” she purrs. Jan bites her lip to hold back a moan that spills out anyways. Jackie’s hand is on the zipper of her pleated skirt, looking at her for permission and Jan realizes she has to respond.

“Please.” The older woman pulls Jan up so that she’s standing too and almost rips her skirt pulling it off. She watches the older woman’s eyes darken when she sees her lacy pastel underwear. 

“Did you get all dressed up for me angel? Such a pretty girl,” Jackie whispers, running her hands over the younger girl’s hips and tugs on the hem of her shirt. Jan allows her to pull it off and Jackie peppers kisses along her neck and chest. “Beautiful. So pretty, princess,” she mumbles and Jan squeals when the brunette cups her ass, squeezing gently.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, angel.”

“Last time I was here, that was my first time,” she whispers. 

Jackie cups her face lightly, she brushes her thumb over Jan’s cheek and whispers, “oh, baby.”

“I’m glad it was you, it was perfect. I hope I did everything right.”

The older woman tucks a strand of stray hair behind Jan’s ear and kisses her gently. “I’m glad you told me Jan. You did everything right, I promise.”

“Could you tell?”

Jackie chuckles softly. “A little bit….” Jan groans, embarrassed, hiding her face in the older woman’s neck. “Princess, please don’t be embarrassed. It felt really good,” she reassures.

“Are you sure?”

“It felt so good, honey. I could just tell you didn’t have a lot of experience with it. Don’t fret, we’ll just have to make sure you get some more practice.” Jan feels the mood shift back to how it was before Jan confessed her secret. 

“Will you teach me to be better, Mommy?” She whispers against the older woman’s lips, “I wanna make you feel so good.” Jan feels herself being pushed down on the bed so that she’s sitting on the edge again. She undoes her bra clasp and pulls it off. Jackie, who’s now kneeling on the floor between the blonde’s legs is looking up at her with dark eyes.

“Let me show you, princess?” Jan consents and the older woman runs her fingers over Jan’s soaking panties. “God, you’re so wet, such a naughty girl. Is this all for me?”

“Just for you!” she moans. She allows Jackie to pull off her panties and then she starts kissing Jan’s thighs and it goes straight to Jan’s core. She stifles a moan when the older woman licks her dripping pussy. 

“You can be loud, little one, no one will hear your pretty moans but me,” the older woman purrs before moving her mouth to Jan’s folds, licking skillfully. Jan can’t help but moan loudly at the physical stimulation mixed with the nickname Jackie used that sent a jolt of arousal directly to Jan’s aching pussy. 

“Mommy!” she whimpers, gripping the edge of the bed for some stability, “Mommy, it feels so good!” When the older woman starts sucking gently on Jan’s clit, Jan throws her head back in pleasure. She bucks her hips unintentionally and much to her dismay, Jackie stops. 

“Do you want to be good for me princess?”

“Yes, Mommy, I do!”

“Good girls don’t squirm,” she says sternly. Jan’s eyes widen and she stills her hips immediately. She watches the older woman smirk before moving her mouth back to Jan’s clit. She moans and grips the sheets tightly, afraid that Jackie will stop again if she threads her fingers through Jackie’s curls like she wants to. 

“Mommy,” she whines, “I’m gonna cum!” The older woman swirls her tongue around Jan’s clit, still sucking. She babbles incoherently through her orgasam as it hits her hard. She feels Jackie place a comforting hand on her hip to ground her as she cums. 

She shivers when the older woman’s tongue becomes too much so Jackie moves back. She looks up at Jan, her eyes are dark, darker than she’s ever seen them before. She falls back onto the bed, out of breath and soon Jackie is laying next to her. The older woman wraps an arm around her and Jan snuggles into her neck.

“Such a pretty girl for me, so beautiful,” she coos, running her fingers through Jan’s long hair, “how did that feel, princess?”

“Mommy,” she whispers, “felt so good.” She looks up at Jackie, smiling dumbly. The brunette laughs and kisses her face over and over until Jan’s giggling too. Jackie climbs on top of her, straddling her waist and starts toying with Jan’s nipples. She can’t help but whimper, Jackie knows all the places to touch her to make her feel like she’s going to melt. 

“Mommy?” 

“Yes angel?”

The younger girl whines on response, her own arousal making her dizzy. “Momma, I-I need….”

“Aww, is my princess all worked up 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯? How cute,” she coos. Jackie’s wet too, Jan can feel it where the older woman is straddling her. “How would you feel about letting me fucking your tight pussy with my strap?” Jackie’s voice is sweet, sickly sweet compared to the words coming out of her mouth. 

“Yeah, want that, wanna try.”

“Okay baby, let me go get it.” After she climbs off of Jan, she goes through one of her dresser drawers until she finds what she’s looking for.

“It’s purple!” The younger girl squeals once she catches sight of the toy. The way Jackie’s eyes darken tells Jan just how aroused the older woman is. Will the strap-on feel good for Jackie? Jan’s not sure. She wants Jackie to feel good too. “Mommy?” she asks shyly, “I have a question.” In an instant, Jackie is beside her, cupping her cheek with her hand. The brunette asks if she’s alright, her eyes are warm and comforting and Jan feels safe. “Will that feel good for you?” she asks, pointing to the dildo and harness that sits on the other side of Jackie, “ ‘cause I want you to feel good too Momma.” 

Jackie pulls her in for a soft kiss, smiling against Jan’s mouth. “Aww, princess,” Jackie mumbles. She pulls the younger girl onto her lap so that she’s straddling her thigh. Jan can feel the other woman’s breath against her lips. “Yes, it will feel good for me too, don’t worry sweetheart.” Jan whines softly, her hips shifting against Jackie’s thigh for any type of friction. “Remember what I said about how good girls don’t squirm?” Jackie asks, her tone strict, but at the same time, motherly. It’s intoxicating and Jan stills immediately.

“I wanna be a good girl Mommy, I’m a good girl!”

“Yes you are princess, my good girl. Have you ever taken a toy before, Jannie?” 

“Uh, no, just my fingers,” she admits, embarrassed. 

“That’s perfectly okay. Mommy needs to make sure you’re all prepped for my strap. Can you show me how you take your fingers? How are you feeling babygirl?” She asks to check-in with the younger woman.

“I’m good. I wanna show you.” She likes it when Jackie refers to herself as ‘Mommy,’ it’s making her all hot and bothered. She slides a hand between her thighs and sighs breathily when she slips two fingers inside herself. 

“Show me how you make yourself feel good,” she coos. Jan open’s her mouth in a silent moan as she pumps her two fingers in and out of herself quickly. “So pretty, princess. So good for Mommy.” The older woman brushes some stray hair out of Jan’s face as she touches herself. 

“Mommy, need you, feels so good.” 

“Yeah?” the older woman asks, biting her bottom lip, “do you think you’re ready for me to fuck you princess?”

“Yeah, want you so bad,” she whines. Jackie sternly tells her not to touch herself. Jan complies, whimpering at the loss of contact. She pouts and Jackie kisses her until she’s whining.

“How do you feel about the size, is it too big?” Jan looks at the toy and considers the older woman’s question. 

“It’s not. Want you to fill me up!” She’s surprised at how childish her voice sounds but neither she nor Jackie are bothered by it, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. She climbs off the older woman and watches her pull on the harness and attach the dildo onto it. When she tugs the shaft slightly to make sure it’s secure Jan’s throat goes dry. She watches the other woman pour lube from a bottle on her hand and covers the toy with it.

“Yeah? Is that what you want, angel? Would you like to try riding me?” Jan tells her she wants to try that so Jackie sits on the bed so that she’s sitting, leaning against the headboard. Jan climbs onto her lap and positions herself above the toy. The older woman holds her hips to guide her, while still allowing her to control the speed. “Are you okay baby, how does it feel?” she asks once Jan has taken about half the length inside her.

“Oh, good. Feels really good, Momma,” she breathes, allowing her eyes to flutter closed. Jackie kisses her cheeks and the tip of her nose as she sinks all the way down on the toy. 

“Mmm, you’re doing so well, little one, I’m so proud of you,” she coos. Jan shudders with pleasure and starts to find a rhythm, moaning softly as she figures out what feels good. She wraps her arms around Jackie’s neck so that their bodies are flush against each other. She nuzzles into the older woman’s neck, Jackie groaning softly as she guides Jan’s hips, gripping them tightly. When Jackie thrusts her hips up to match Jan’s rhythm, Jan’s eyes snap open and she moans brokenly. 

“Mommy! Feels good, you fuck me so good!”

Jackie speeds up her thrusts and tightens her (already tight) grip on the younger girls hips. “Fuck Jannie, you make Mommy feel so good, I’m so close.” Jan lifts her head up; She wants to see her mommy when she cums. She bounces against the toy, hoping to create more friction against Jackie’s clit. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, right there baby, 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬!” The older woman thrusts her hips roughly and her doe eyes fall shut and she moans lowly as she orgasams. She looks so hot and the speed of the brunette’s thrusts hits something deep inside Jan that she’s never felt before. Her own hand goes directly to her clit, rubbing tight circles as she moans loudly. 

“Fuuucckk, Mommy,” she groans. 

“That’s right Jannie, can you cum for me?” The older woman asks, still breathless from her own orgasam. Jan nods rapidly and her mouth falls open in a silent moan, her hand still on her own clit. “So pretty for Mommy, such a pretty baby girl,” Jackie coos in her ear. When she runs the pad of her thumb over Jan’s nipple and pinches softly, Jan can’t take it anymore and slams her hips down roughly. It hits that spot again, where everything is just right, and she’s cumming. Her eyes shut and she moans loudly. She feels an unfamiliarly large gush of liquid between her legs as her orgasam causes her whole body to shake. 

“O-oh, I don’t know, I-I’ve never don’t that before-“ she apologizes once she catches her breath. 

Jackie quickly brings a hand to her cheek. “Hush, darling, it’s okay, more than okay. You squirted, you’ve never done that before?”

“I haven’t. I’m not sure…” she trails off, embarrassed. 

“It’s okay, it was so hot princess.”

“Really?” she asks, still unsure. 

“Yes, I promise,” the older woman assures as she runs her thumb over Jan’s cheek, an action the younger girl finds very comforting. She nuzzles into the older woman’s neck, exhausted from her multiple orgasams. “Alright little one, I think it’s time to take a shower.”

“I like it when you call me that. I’m sleepy,” she mumbles. 

“I know princess but we need to get you all cleaned up, okay?” Jan nods and climbs off the older woman’s lap, whimpering at the loss of the toy inside of her. Her cheeks flush when she sees the wet spot that she made on the sheets. 

“I’m sorry I made a mess.”

“Don’t apologize, little one. Mommy made a bit of a mess too, it’s okay.” The older woman leads her to her bathroom, Jan’s never been in here before. She allows Jackie to clean her up while the warm water streams over them. She leans on Jackie’s shoulder. She likes being taken care of by Jackie, likes that she doesn’t have to do anything because Jackie’s got her. She mewls softly when the older woman massages shampoo into her hair. This is nice, domestic, and Jan tries not to think about how they still haven’t talked about what exactly is happening between the two of them.

After Jackie’s cleaned them both up, she turns off the water and Jan feels herself being led out of the shower. Jackie looks so pretty, her wet hair curling at the tips, her beautiful curves, and Jan’s so glad she’s finally allowed to stare after all these years. “Mommy,” she whimpers as she makes grabby hands at the older woman when Jackie breaks contact for just a moment to get a towel. 

“Hush sweetheart, I’ve got you,” she coos, bringing a hand to the younger woman’s cheek and kissing her nose softly. She dries Jan off with a fluffy towel and leads her over to an armchair in her bedroom. 

With heavy eyelids, she watches Jackie rifle through her drawers until she finds an oversized olive green t-shirt and a simple black thong for Jan to wear. She stands up for a moment, allowing the older woman to dress her. The shirt is soft, it smells like Jackie’s perfume. Jackie goes back to her dresser drawers and Jan admires the older woman from where she’s sitting, her pretty curves, Jan could stare at all day. She watches Jackie pull on a white satin nightie with lace on the edges and fiddle with the straps for a moment.

“You’re beautiful.”

Jackie looks up at her, and smiles softly. Jan giggles (mostly out of exhaustion) and snuggles further into the couch, allowing her eyes too close. 

-

Jan hadn’t even realized she’d fallen asleep when she wakes up. She’s in Jackie’s bed under fresh sheets, it’s comfy. She glances over at Jackie who’s in the bed too, she’s on her laptop, probably doing something for work. She’s wearing a grey cardigan over her nighty and her chunky tortoise-shell glasses that Jan thinks are adorable. 

“Jackie?” The older woman looks up, startled, and smiles a little. She looks stressed though, Jan is frightened she did something wrong. “Are you okay?” she asks quietly. Jackie’s eyes are glassy, something is wrong. 

“Nothing, it’s okay,” she says wiping her eyes not-so-subtly. 

“Jackie, I don’t believe you,” she says softly, sitting up, “you don’t have to tell me but If I did something wrong, I wanna know so we can fix it.”

“Come here, baby.” Jackie puts her laptop to the side and pulls the younger girl into her arms, and then on top of her so that Jan straddling the her lap. It feels nice, Jackie’s warm. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong, I’m sorry I made you worried, angel.” 

Jan brings her hand to the brunettes cheek and a few tears leak out of Jackie’s dark eyes. “Jackie, honey, can I do anything? Can I kiss it better?” she offers, kind of unsure of how to help. 

The older woman nods, “kiss it better.” Jan kisses both of Jackie’s cheeks softly and then her lips in an attempt to make her feel better. “I’m sorry Jan, my anxiety gets the best of my emotions sometimes. There’s a reason I haven’t dated anyone for years, I scare them off,” she laughs sadly.

“You’re emotions don’t scare me, Jackie. I’m not going anywhere….unless you want me to.” Jackie looks at her, smiles and kisses her lovingly. It makes Jan’s heart hurt, the thought of Jackie opening up, only to be left. 

“I’d like it if you stayed,” the older woman mumbles.

“Good. Me too,” she whispers in response.

Jackie smiles against her lips and pulls her even closer than she already is. “Do you want coffee?” she asks after breaking the kiss.

“Coffee? What time is it?” 

The brunette checks her watch, “12:03, just past midnight.” 

“Sounds perfect.” Both women grin at each other and Jan giggles, climbing off Jackie to lead them both down to the kitchen, Jackie making her slow down after she almost trips on the stairs. When they get there, Jackie lifts her onto one of the counters before moving across the kitchen to go turn on the coffee maker. The way moonlight glistens in through the kitchen window is making Jackie look ethereal. 

She must feel Jan’s gaze on her because she turns around to look at the blonde woman. “What are you looking at baby?”

“You look like an angel,” she says softly. Jackie looks taken aback for a moment before her expression changes into a soft smile. She crosses the kitchen, over to Jan, wrapping her arms around the younger girl’s waist and leans in to kiss her silly until the coffee’s done. 

-

“You need to sleep more, honey, I’m worried about you,” Jan mumbles against Jackie’s shoulder, half asleep. The caffeine from the coffee’s worn off by now and Jan is 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥. She has her stuffed bunny in hand now, Jackie grabbed it for her because she needs it to fall asleep. Jackie leads the younger girl up to her bedroom and eventually, into her bed. 

“You’re right Jannie, you’re right.” The older woman makes sure that Jan’s settled under the covers and cuddles up to Jackie when she joins her. 

“Are you going to sleep for once?”

“Yes baby, I’m actually quite sleepy,” she assures, bringing a hand to Jan’s cheek. 

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.” 

“Good, ‘cause I wanna cuddle.” The older woman chuckles and pulls her impossibly closer. “ ’Night, Jackie.”

“Goodnight, my beautiful baby girl.” Jan smiles and allows her eyes to fall shut, drowning in the scent of Jackie’s perfume as she drifts off to sleep. 

-

The next morning, Jan wakes up to Jackie peppering kisses on her cheeks and face. The older woman apologizes for not letting her sleep but Gigi will be home soon. Not allowing Jan to leave without eating something, Jackie accidentally burns toast, trying to make it in a rush. Appreciating the gesture, Jan eats it anyways. 

“Jannie, I’m so glad you came over, thank you, for everything.”

“I’m glad too, really glad. Thank you for trusting me, Jackie. It really means a lot,” she says, standing in the doorway, almost ready to leave. She makes Jackie promise to call if she’s feeling overwhelmed and in turn, gives her word that she’s not going anywhere, and that she’s always here for her if she needs anything. 

Before she leaves, they exchange a few loving kisses and then Jan has to go. She walks home, duffel bad in hand, wearing sweatpants and Jackie’s shirt that she’s borrowed with no intention of returning.


	4. show me the places where the others gave you scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter really has it all: hurt/comfort, fluff, and smut
> 
> ALSO TRIGGER WARNING FOR PANIC ATTACKS (not insanely graphic but please be careful)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't get to edit this chapter at all 'cause it's the middle of the night and I would like to sleep but i wanted to post this chapter first so sorry for the grammar and spelling and stuff
> 
> also this chapter's written from Jackie's pov kinda rather than Jan's :)

Gigi and Jan are graduating. Jackie almost can’t believe it. She remembers Gigi’s first day of grade one, when she was so nervous that she wouldn’t make a friend that she cried the night before. Jackie remembers her daughter talking on and on about a girl she met named Jan. She remember when she first met Jan. She was a bright-eyed little kid who carried around a stuffed bunny until the age of eight. 

And now they’re both graduating. It really 𝘪𝘴 crazy. She shakes her head, trying to be in the present. The names are getting called and she watches her daughter go to accept her diploma, a wide smile on her face. She’s so proud of her. Jan accepts hers with a spring in her step, her blonde hair is curled and bounces as she walks. She flashes a smile at Jackie, who feels her cheeks flush. 

After the ceremony is over, she watches from afar Jan and her daughter hugging each other tightly. Tears spring from Gigi’s eyes as she runs up to Jackie, laughing as she shows off her diploma proudly. Being the dorky mom she is, Jackie can’t help but take a million pictures of her daughter, insanely proud of her. She watches Jan run up to her parents and of course she’s bawling. 

They had plans to go out to lunch with Jan’s family but unfortunately, Jan’s mother gets called into work for some sort of emergency. But Jan smiles through it all, saying it’s okay and that the two of them will celebrate in another way later. 

Lunch is nice, but Jan looks nicer. Her blonde hair is curled so beautifully and her grad dress hugs every curve perfectly. Jackie tries not to stare, she really does but it’s proving to be a lot harder than she originally thought.

-

Later in the afternoon, Gigi leaves for Crystal (her girlfriend’s) house to spend the night. Before she goes, Jackie gets teary eyed telling her daughter how proud she is of her. Once she’s alone, she dos some much needed housework and plans to give Jan a call later, maybe in the evening, and tell her how good she is and try and spoil her as best she can through the phone.

She cozies up on the couch with her trusty laptop with plans to finish up a bit of work. She really loves what she does, working with a lovely french fashion designer, Nicky Doll, who has become one of her close personal friends over the years. She’s just working out a couple of finalizations for a design when the doorbell rings. She pushes her laptop to the side and hurries to the door. Much to her surprise, it’s Jan. She looks shaken up to say the least. Her curls are all over the place and her makeup smudged. Her eyes are glassy and it looks like she’s been crying. 

“I need you,” she chokes out before practically collapsing in Jackie’s arms. Jackie brings the crying girl upstairs to her room and they both have a seat on her bed. She holds the younger woman as she chokes out sobs, clinging to Jackie for dear life. Unsure of what the problem is, Jackie tires to help as best she can by rubbing circles on the other woman’s back and gives her a minute to let it all out before Jan speaks up.

“Jackie, I-I feel like I can’t breathe,” she says, hiccuping between sobs.

“Okay baby, can you try slow breaths for me? In and out.” She guides Jan through it, until she’s breathing normally again. She sits up and looks at the older woman, hurt present in her eyes. “What’s going on Jannie? Are you okay?”

“Why did my mom have to leave? I mean, I know why, I just don’t- I should be used to it I guess, but it still hurts even if it’s the millionth time she’s done something like this. I just thought today would be different,” she admits, choking up before tears start pouring out of her pretty eyes. Jackie immediately feels bad, bad that Jan never got what she needed her whole life and bad that she herself never noticed that this bothered the younger girl so much. 

“Come here baby, it’s okay-“ She gestures for Jan to fall back in her embrace but she pulls back.

“It’s not okay! It’s never been okay! I always pretend like it doesn’t bother me, but it does, Jackie! Am I not important enough to her?” she asks. Defeated now after her little outburst, she looks at Jackie hopelessly.

“Janice, I need you to look at me, you are so important, you’re an amazing, strong person and you are enough.”

“You don’t mean that.” It makes Jackie long for Jan to know her worth because she’s so amazing and special and beautiful. She kisses Jan’s full lips softly, a tear sliding down her own cheek. Jan falls back into her embrace, snuggling even closer to Jackie if that’s even possible.

“I do mean it. I promise you, I do,” she says softly, “and anything you need, I’ve got you.”

“I just need you to hold me,” she whispers and Jackie pulls her as close as she can. They stay like that for a while, with Jan half on her lap and Jackie just holding her, rubbing her back comfortingly. 

Once Jan’s calmed down, Jackie suggests ordering sushi which causes the younger girl’s face to brighten once again. She orders it while Jan takes a warm shower. Hopefully it’ll help her to relax even more. She finds something in her drawers for the younger girl to wear and starts laying it out when she hears a muffled moan coming from the bathroom. She smirks, peeling off her own clothes before heading into the steamy room. Stepping into the shower, she sees just what she expected, Jan’s touching herself.

Jan jumps, startled. Clearly she didn’t hear Jackie come in. 

“Oh, Jackie, hi,” she says, obviously embarrassed. She pulls Jan in for a kiss and the blonde girl whimpers, shifting so that their bodies are flush against each other. Jackie could call her naughty, get her to keep touching herself while she watches but she thinks that today, Jan just needs to be pampered a little. 

“Let me make you feel good princess?”

Jan breathes out a “yes,” her breath hitching when Jackie slides her hand between the younger girl’s legs. She dips a finger into Jan before circling her clit slowly. Jan mewls in her ear, it’s adorable.

“Is this what you need, Jannie, need me to take care of you?”

“Y-yeah, 𝘔𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘺. More please,” she moans softly into Jackie’s ear. Jackie has to stop herself from moaning, this girl has got Jackie wrapped around her little finger. Speaking of fingers, she adds two into Jan, pumping them fast enough for Jan to moan brokenly into Jackie’s ear. 

“I’ve got you baby girl. You’re so beautiful, such a good girl for me,” she coos, moving her thumb to circle Jan’s clit as the younger woman gets closer and closer to orgasam. 

“Feels really good, m’so close.”

“Yeah? Can you cum for me, pretty girl?” Jan nods rapidly, her head slumping against Jackie’s shoulder, moaning and whimpering as she cums. Jan wraps her arms around Jackie’s waist and Jackie just holds her for a moment while the warm water streams over them. 

-

Jackie’s happy to see that sushi, steamy shower sex, a disney movie, and lots of cuddles are enough to significantly cheer Jan up. They opted for eating dinner on the couch because Jan wanted to watch ‘𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘔𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘥.’ She’s currently actually 𝘰𝘯 Jackie’s lap, now fast sleep halfway through the movie. Jackie doesn’t mind though, she’s found herself to be very protective of the younger woman over the past couple of weeks, more so than usual. It’s nice, to have Jan this close, nice to be able to just hold her. It dawns on Jackie that she’s never been nearly this touchy-feely with anyone. It scares her a little bit (okay, a lot) but it’s also nice. But it also scares her a lot. She tries to calm herself, considering there’s a sleeping Jan literally on top of her but seemingly fails when said girl stirs, sitting up. 

“Hi,” she says sleepily before a concerned expression appears on her face, “Are you okay, honey?”

“Sorry baby, just some anxiety. I’m okay.”

“You don’t hafta apologize. Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“I really like you,” she states, “ and it scares me, I don’t want it too. But it does.”

“I like you too, Jacks, a lot.” Jackie smiles softly at the new nickname and cups Jan’s cheek softly. The younger girl leans in to kiss Jackie’s forehead. It’s intimate, and it makes Jackie smile. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Me too, pretty girl. Are you feeling better now?”

“Absolutely. Could I- could I maybe stay tonight?” she asks shyly. 

“I don’t want your parents to worry-“

“I told Gigi I was staying with someone tonight, obviously I didn’t say who, she said she’d cover for me, would say she really wanted Crystal and I to meet. My parents think I’m with them. But if you want me to go-“ she rambles. Jackie interrupts her with a kiss and informs her that she 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 wants her to stay. 

-  
“Mommy, I’m sleepy,” Jan pouts. They’re thirty minutes into 𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 (because Jan insisted) and both of them are starting to feel decently tired. Jackie just hums in agreement, pulling her girl in closer. “Is-is it okay that I called you that, like, now when we’re not….”

“Not what? Not making passionate love in the shower, Janice?” she teases.

“𝘎𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴, Don’t say it like that!” Jackie just chuckles in response and kisses the blonde’s cheek. 

“Yes you can call me that, princess. In fact, I think we’re due for a little bit of Mommy-baby bonding time, don’t you?”

“I think so, Mommy.”

“Is there anything specific you need, little one?”

“My bunny,” she announces. She gets up to go grab it from her backpack and jumps into Jackie’s lap when she gets back, straddling her. She snuggles into Jackie’s waiting arms, but not before giving her a loving kiss.

“You’re so beautiful,” Jackie whispers once they’re almost through the movie. She has been playing with a few strands Jackie’s dark curls for the better part of ten minutes now, the expression on her face one of clear adoration. Even in the low lighting, she can see Jan turn red at the praise before hiding her face in Jackie’s neck.

“Momma?” she asks.

“Yes, angel?”

“Y’know the little teacup, Chip?” she asks, referring to the movie, “I think that’s me and you’re the teapot that takes care of him.” Jan giggles at the randomness of the statement but Jackie thinks it’s the most endearing thing she’s 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 heard.

“You are the sweetest girl I’ve ever met.” She pulls Jan into a kiss and hugs her so tightly. The younger girl looks up at her with teary eyes and kisses her softly.

“Well 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 the best Mommy I’ve ever met,” she whispers back . Jackie can feel Jan’s breath against her lips and when she yawns, Jackie tells her to try and get some sleep.

Soon, she’s nodding off in Jackie’s arms but it seems to be that she’s trying to keep herself awake. Jackie strokes her cheek with her thumb, whispering, “sweetheart, go to sleep, I’ve got you.” 

She nods in agreement and right before falling asleep, Jan whispers, “I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliffhanger! i'll be posting the next chapter as soon as i can. meanwhile, dm me on tumblr if there's anything specific you wanna see form these two (or just comment it!) 
> 
> thank you for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> pls comment stuff, it makes my day! :)


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